Pale and uninteresting.

I can't believe what has happened! I promised myself no matter how tough and busy and tired I became I would never ever do this.

I've ditched the fake tan.

Sounds extremely shallow I know, but I'm not one of those girls who cake it on, I don't wear a dark shade of tangerine or wear eyeshadow up to my eyebrows or wear fake nails, fake eyelashes (I found an eyelash in a ham roll whilst staying with my glam younger sis, I promptly vommed and now have a phobia of them) I'm not a typical TOWIE sort of fake tan addict, up until now I just couldn't live without it. My natural skin colour is pale blue/see through so putting some tan on my legs, and body, made me feel better, made me feel healthier, made me feel remotely attractive, and well just made me feel like me!!
The past 6 months or so, I've just stopped. My legs are shocking, my stomach looks fucking ugly without it and even my own sister kindly pulled down my top that had ridden up the back whilst we were both working at the restaurant, I reckon I was blinding her with my glow in the dark white back.
I am just too tired and can't be bothered. All i have time for when Jacob goes to sleep at night is dinner, Eastenders and sleep. Just ask my poor boyfriend. It's a cycle though, I don't feel myself right now so I stop doing the one thing that makes me feel better, and happier about myself, kind of stupid really! So today I'm going to do the usual routine of shower than tan, and hopefully I will feel like a human being, instead of this ghostly, grumpy, trying to do a billion things at once person.
It's not really about the fake tan is it? It's about not letting motherhood, work, life in general tire you out so much that you let go of who you are and what you enjoy!
Definitely time to get me back!