Meet Jacob.....

This little munchkin here is my Jacob. I will no doubt be blogging a lot about this little bundle of joy and mayhem! He is already turning into the most funny, wonderfully knowing and affectionate young boy and he's only a month shy of his 1st Birthday. He's smart, he can outwit you and my god for one so young he has the attitude already! His turning one is approaching fast, and I feel slightly petrified at the prospect of my baby becoming a toddler. They tell you it goes fast, but I don't think you can ever be mentally prepared for how fast it REALLY does go. It only seems like yesterday (I know it's a cliche but motherhood is full of 'em!) that I was lying in hospital with this little thing gazing up at me, big eyes, so aware, so alert (unlike myself after 16 hours of labour ending in c section) it was so exciting, but terrifying! When we got home I remember sitting watching Eastenders, breast pump on (he didn't latch) boobs leaking every where as I desperately tried to express enough for his night feeds, I burst into full on melodramatic, bogey sobs with the overwhelming exhaustion of it all.

But yet I miss those days.

When we were weaning and the poor sod couldn't eat a bit of toast without me eyeballing him and having 999 typed into the phone (just in case).
One day, he decided to have a little cough whilst he was eating (as you do) I jumped up, making a noise that resembled a mating fox, stuck a finger in his mouth and dragged the toast out kicking and screaming! I'm surprised I didn't put him off food, or at least toast, for life.

But again, I really miss those days.

I think I know now that it is time for me to look ahead, we still have so many milestones, so many things to learn from each other and moments that will tie us together. We will grow TOGETHER and for that I'am truly excited.

So on his big day I won't cry, I WILL not cry!! But I won't be throwing away his steriliser just yet. I will keep it as an act of defiance. And as a reminder of that breathtaking, excruciating, exhilarating and simply wonderful, first year.

With my wonderful, Jacob.